Well now, lessee here... I'm moving into my new apartment with my boyfriend and good friend tomorrow morning, and hopefully... hopefully... it'll all be done tomorrow lol. I work later on that day until closing, then will wander over to the very new location of my very new home. It's quite mind boggling, now that I've had time to sit down and actually think about it instead of stuffing everything I own into bags and boxes and bins (oh my?). My work load this week is (of course) ridiculously heavy, most days either 7 or 9 hour shifts (UGH), and the whole unpacking and settling nonsense whenever I have time to breathe lol. But I will be with my lovey, FINALLY. We can carry on as we do... And that makes me, well, indescribably happy.

So, as of this very second, regardless of my exhaustion, life is... pretty damn good. :)

Tattoo, New Apartments, and Ageplay, OH MY!
I got my tattoo about 2-3 weeks ago, and am absolutely in love with it. Wanting more, regardless of the intense pain (which is surprising since my pain tolerance is pretty high). But I shall post pics when I can find the damn usb cord that attaches to my camera. Won't be as big as this one (maybe... lol) but I definitely have to save  up for it and not take out $400 directly from my check... >.>

A good friend of mine and I are currently looking for a suitable apartment for ourselves. We shall see if I can handle her... personality on an almost 24 hour basis. We work together and will soon be living together, and being a somewhat anti-social creature... I dunno how that much stimulation of 'her' I can handle, lol. But I'll live, I suppose. Zee boyfriend will likely be joining us once he gets a bit of money, so that should be fun ^_^. I'm excited about the whole thing, just hopin' there aren't massive amounts of demon obstacles in the way...

And now, ageplay. *sigh* Completely unrelated to the other topics, but that's how I roll. I'm lookin' into it... I find it fascinating, and am inclined to it, but there aren't that many 'informational' sites, except for maybe forums or Fetlife. I suppose I'll get a book on it or whatnot. I've found myself wandering towards the children's section in bookstores, watching the Mommies and Daddies reading to their little ones, and I feel such a swelling in my heart. It's not that I want my own child, natural birth etc; I think giving someone that was deprived of a good childhood a chance to enjoy those things they missed out on, feel like someone truly cares for them and won't ever hurt them... I think a lot of people could benefit from that. It's more of a therapeutic thing, than a sexual/roleplay thing. I dunno... we'll see if I can find a 'little' to call my own. :)

Update soon. Take care, all.

- P.

The Endless

From Left to Right : Desire, Despair (Desire's twin /somehow...), Delirium (once was Delight), Dream (and little Matthew by his feet), Death, and Destiny. Oh, and the artist painting a heart on Destiny's Book O' Destiny, lawlz. There is one last Endless- Destruction. But he went awol.

Dream sulkingly feeding the birds, Death with a smirk.

7 Endless, Destruction included. And kittehs!

Morpheus, Lord of the Dreaming.

Death, who ironically reminds me of myself, personality wise, XD.

(Very tempted to do this as tattoo... We'll see.)

I absolutely love this painting.

The Endless Supper. I wonder how long it'll last...

The Prodigal Returns
So it's been more than half a year since I've been on this thing. Surprisingly, it's not that I've completely forgotten for once. Just mostly forgotten. Anyway, I probably shouldn't attempt to update you guys (whoever ye may be) in my current state since my brain is basically a formless vapor-thing. But I shall try.

Number one thing that I figured I should mention first (hence Numero Uno-o status) :


Finally, eh? I'm a part of the Kitchen Crew in a fancy bistro place close to home. Been there for almost 4 months now; strange how fast time flies. Unfortunately, it's only 8.50/hour and I bust my ass and have been granted 2nd place in 'Who Has The Most Hours', but still... Quite taxing some days. Other than that, I've been knitting a shit-ton of socks, and reading The Sandman series by Sir Gaiman. I'm irrevocably in love.

I'll very likely be getting a second tattoo in February or March, so I've been psyching myself out with that. Silence of the Lambs moth with either poppy flowers or roses. I still have to make a consultation appointment with the tattooist I've chosen which maybe today or later this week.

I've loved Silence of the Lambs - the entire Hannibal Lecter series - since I first was exposed to it. I read SOTL when I was 13; a special time for me, and I mean that in the semi-psychotic, morbidly not-sane way. In short, it was a godsend. I fell in love with the characters, and the stories. I never thought I would get a tattoo a la' Hannibal, but it seemed fitting to do so as of late. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that if I ever were to get a tattoo, it would have to have a personal meaning. My first tattoo was a pair of wings on my back the size of my fists; not frilly angel wings, but sharp, dark, demonic-ish wings with blood streaming from where they 'sprouted'. I got it done on my 18th birthday as a gift from my old man. The wings symbolized the freedoms of 18-dom, the hardships I went through to get certain personal freedoms, and that though I felt caged in my life for so long, now was time to change and learn what it felt like to fly. The session was 3 1/2 hours. It didn't hurt most of the time, except near the end became slightly annoying. I loved the outcome, and still do. I might retouch the blood, and make it a darker red.

My second tattoo idea's meaning was in total essence, accidental. My thought process: "Hey, I love SOTL, why not get a tattoo of the moth with some flowers or somethin'?" The Voice of Rationality was strong that day. "Remember what you promised." Sigh. Fiiiinnee. So I decided to look up the symbolism of moths.

'Moths are nocturnal, and much of their symbolism deals with:

  • Intuition
  • Psychic perception
  • Heightened awareness

As if being a night-dweller weren’t enough, the moths are babes of the moon. They follow the mother moon as a source of light, and this connects them with some powerful moon associations such as:

  • Knowledge of the Otherworld
  • Second sight
  • Influence
  • Prophesy
  • Clarity

As humans, we may translate this as symbolic of living our lives by intuitive feeling rather than physical sensory perception.

Philosophically speaking, night creatures do not tumble in the dark, and neither do humans. We use our dreams, our awareness, and our deeper, inner knowing to navigate through the darkest hours of our lives. '

Imagine my delight. I've always been a bit of a night-owl, and have had a special connection with night hours, and the moon. I wanted something that symbolized personal transformation, confidence, beauty, and the acceptance of darker things in all of us. I wanted a reminder of my strength in intuition, and to hone the ability to adapt to all that life throws. I wanted something colorful and yet not rainbowy. I really think it's going to turn out amazing. I will post pictures as soon as possible after it's done. Hopefully it won't put too large of a hole in my wallet...

Anywho, all's relatively well. The occasional up-down-up-down-itis, but that is expected. Having a job has helped insurmountably. Now, hobbies. And possibly... friends.

The anti-socialist in me is sneering slightly.

Oh, I also got my nipples pierced with my good friend in November. :) Great bonding experience. You should see the video; she squeals when pierced; I moan. How wonderfully strange, and perfectly unsurprising.

This is fucking hard. One step at a time, I guess.

Because it's been awhile.

Goodnight, everyone.

Because it's FUCKIN' Hilarious.

The Puppy and I enjoy this video quite a bit. Yes, we are unquestionably and irrevocably... Nerds.

La. That is all.

Every little thing is gonna be alright.

My day's been a bit... wonky. Stress, emotional bullshit, etc. And so, I retaliate.

Turn it up, listen, and keep it in your heart.

Subtlety to the point of Formlessness. (A Tribute to Wing Chun Kung Fu)
I am a Wing Chun student.

Although I have not attended my classes for quite some time now for financial reasons, I recognize that I am still a student, in Wing Chun, and in life, no matter what color I master or how far I've come. There is always something new to discover and learn.

I found Wing Chun through a dear friend of mine; she had known I was looking for a form of martial art that had four basic elements :

1. It needed to inspire me to take it's teachings outside of class, and include them in my life.

2. Public performances/ competitions were not a part of the program.

3. It needed to be authentic, and not flashy.

4. I didn't want Karate or Tae Kwon Do.

I wanted a simple fighting form that demanded focus and tranquility, as well as flexibility to switch from passive to aggressive fighting. Cue entry of my Sifu's Wing Chun Kung Fu Academy. There are many aspects of Kung Fu, most of which I have not learned besides Wing Chun. And I'm okay with that. However interesting the Tiger, Crane, Snake, and Monkey forms are, they are sub-categories.

Our main focus is access to the opponents core, and to remain 'soft'. Our posture is in a way that will accommodate our center-punching techniques, deflect the opponent's attacks and allow us to attack simultaneously. You use the opponent's negative energy to your advantage; move with their movements; and do not give them energy to use against you. 

The Wing Chun State of Mind as written by my Sifu (mentor):

Wing Chun develops the mind to react through thinking and feeling, by sharpening the senses to see and feel for holes and to flow with different pressures upon engagement in your opponent’s defenses. Knowing the awareness of your body and your opponent’s body and to make conscious decisions without reflexive responses is developed through training. Wing Chun trains you to understand the present moment and to recognize everything within that moment. Wing Chun becomes a part of your personality and is limited only to your mentality and physical being.

I have learned self-discipline, honor, tranquility, strength, and awareness from this Martial Art. I can only hope that my training will continue, and that I may taste the ultimate achievement.

                    IP MAN

(Considered the first Wing Chun Kung Fu master/Sifu to teach Wing Chun openly. He trained Bruce Lee.)

Some Videos of Wing Chun Techniques :  (Chain Punch)   (A scene from the movie Ip Man. Bit graphic.)   (Movie Trailer of Ip Man. ^.^)


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